Our Work Together

Whatever the heartache you are feeling, Caritas provides a comfortable and safe environment in which you feel a freedom of spirit to express your feelings of grief. We synthesize traditional professional counseling tools with the truth, beauty, and goodness of our Catholic faith in order to help you to feel better and work through the grief in order to allow you to unlock the gifts God intends for you to experience and to find a deeper peace and authentic happiness.

Sudden vs Predictable Loss

A sudden loss involves a feelings of grief, but also a shock to the system which throws off our sense of security and faith in the world. There is no way to prepare for such situations. Predictable loss allows us more time to deal with the grief, thus making it so the loss occurs over a period of time. It involves feelings of grief, but also grief regarding anticipation of the loss. Both of these can be processed and worked through over time. Because a sudden loss involves a shock to the system and feeling of loss, it requires a different approach than a more predictable loss. The sudden shock often causes us to question the fundamental security and safety of the world. Therefore, it is usually good to focus on restoring this sense of safety first or alongside processing the feelings of loss.

Modern World Complicates Grief

Often our world of today does not leave time for things such as grief or management of your interior life/emotional state. It seems there is barely enough time to get the exterior stuff done, let alone focus on your interior life. This is a common problem which is experienced by many in today’s fast-paced society. If this is the case for you, it can be helpful to assess what distractions we can temporarily set aside, and also be creative in turning normal aspects of our routine into opportunities to grieve - such as listening to things which help us process grief on the commute to and from work. It can also be helpful to view multimedia on our cell phones or T'.V.s less often during these times. This quiet time will give our soul time the time and space it needs to heal.

“It was a good change, why do I feel grief?”

Often, what are perceived as good changes or situations in life can bring on feelings of grief. For example, when we get a promotion at work, a desired move, stepping away from someone toxic in our lives are all thought of as positives, yet we may still feel sorrow and loss. This is common because although we truly desired the change, they inherently involve loss of that which was familiar to us. Change for human beings, simply put, is difficult. With a new and better job we are still leaving behind relationships and a familiar routine. Thus, we feel loss because there is loss. This feeling can also be accompanied by feelings of pressure regarding learning the new job, which makes it double difficult. Therefore, it is important to take a balanced view of the situation - that yes it is ultimately a good change, but there are also some significant losses and change itself can be difficult. This new view of the situation will allow us the proper space to simultaneously embrace the new opportunity and process the difficult aspects to it.

New Coping Methods

It is very typical and normal to fall into old coping habits when in the state of grieving. We may over-eat, be critical, use sex, isolate, or even fall into addiction patterns. We need not shame ourselves if this is the case. We do have a choice to accept that our old pattern has arisen and search for alternative healthier ways to cope with the heartache.

Coping With Grief

Let yourself feel the grief - you don’t have to pretend.

Talk about feelings with safe friends or family

Take it as an opportunity to renew your faith, trust, and love of God

Engage with others where you can safely allow yourself to “be in” your feelings of grief

Allow more time for interior life activities - prayer, meditation, and custody of the heart

Eating healthy and exercise

Learn about the stages of grief

Join a support group

Patience With the Process

Grief is a process which simply takes time. It is not a linear process, but one which ebbs and flows. It is strong sometimes, other times you may believe it has all passed and then it hits you again. Some of us may have the habit of suppressing our feelings, thus the grief may be a consistent feeling which is under the surface. This is all very normal. Accepting that the process of grief may take us some time and allowing ourselves to have this time is something we all deserve. Allowing ourselves to work through the grief in Gods time and within Gods presence can help us grow through each phase of grief that we experience.