Divorce
Divorce tends to turn our world upside down and stir up feelings we didn't know we had. At the same time, it can be a tremendous opportunity to come to truly know our authentic self and set ourselves on a thriving path. The feelings and experiences are undoubtedly painful and may seem pointless. Despite the despair we may feel, deep within these feelings are the keys to greater growth and often a greater happiness beyond that which we had ever experienced prior to the divorce. This is the reality that we face after divorce - it is not merely a negative, but a chance to grow and experience a greater authenticity of love.
Embrace our Faith Following Divorce.
For Catholics divorce can be an especially touchy topic. We may feel tremendous guilt which tells us that we do not deserve to be prominent member of our parish community or deserve Gods love. It is important to realize that this is nonsense and the exact voice we do not want to listen to. On the contrary, it is especially at this time that we need to embrace our faith, parish community, and relationship with Christ.
True, divorce is not ideal, but once it happens it is vital to process it, learn from it, get ourselves on solid footing and to a good thriving place. It is now more than ever that we need to engage deeper into our relationship with God and the depth of our Catholic faith. It is an opportunity to uncover the happiness God intends us to experience.
Our Work Together
At Caritas we integrate traditional therapeutic tools with the truth, beauty, and goodness of our Catholic faith within a safe, comfortable, and rejuvenating environment. Some of the things we may focus on during our time together are processing the feelings related to the divorce, overcoming any negative self-judgment, gaining insight into core relationship patterns, and identifying your true meaning and purpose. Our main purpose is to help you get to a better place and learn what you can from the experience of divorce.
“Don’t carry your mistakes around with you. Instead place them under your feet and use them as stepping stones to rise above them.”
Co-Parenting
Co- parenting brings up many unwanted feelings and is a tricky balance to obtain. You have just divorced your former spouse, and are thus emotionally detaching from them. At the same time, you have to make a big effort to come together to provide a stable and fruitful environment for the children so they can develop along healthy paths. This can be emotionally confusing and challenging. The divorce itself is painful for the children. As a result, now more than ever they need as stable a structure and environment as possible to live in. It is vital for parents to come together and provide this.
The marriage may not have worked out, but the environment that you provide for your children can still be extremely fruitful - which in turn will allow them to thrive. It is important to show your children that the both of you can still work together with a mutual love for their sake.
Common Pitfalls of Co-parenting
Oftentimes there exists quite a bit of resentment between ex-spouses after the divorce. After all, it is normal that you may feel at least somewhat hostile toward your ex-spouse. Where it becomes destructive is when these feelings are projected onto the children. This often happens unknowingly because the feelings are under the surface. There are competitions which may develop between both parents, trying to be “liked more” by the children. Which is turn leads to not setting proper boundaries with children or trying to “buy their love.” Do not feel bad if you are prone toward this as if often happens after divorce. The key is to recognize these tendencies and work through the feelings which drive them.
Our Work Together
At Caritas we help divorced couples come up with structured loving plans in order to guide them toward a fulfilling co-parenting experience. We will work with either one or both parents. We will help with communication and developing a healthy working relationship so as to guide your children in the best way possible.